2008...Why am I so SCARED?!?!?!

Well, to start out...Happy New Year to everyone! It was fun to welcome the new year with my eyeballs practically behind my eyelids. For some reason, I wasn't feeling like the party girl that I usually am. I went to bed at 12:01 am.

So, I have been feeling some sort of anxiety for this coming year. Being Pregnant, Ryan finishing up his rotations, delivering a baby...knowing that Ryan might not be there, Ryan planning out his 4th year of rotations, getting older, blah, blah, blah.

Yesterday, we were at this couple named Chris and Mindy's house for dessert and games. Mindy is pregnant with their second child. We were talking about being pregnant and all the wonderful things that happen to our bodies. Then she asked me, "why are you so scared?" Just that one innocent question threw me for a loop. Why am I so scared???

While trying to explain my anxiety to her, it all started to sound like a whole lot of fluff to me. Suddenly being afraid sounded like the whooses way out. Then I said, "I guess it's all about pride." Which is really true. I had been pretty adamant about not getting pregnant or having a third child for a while...or even at all! Even up until the day that I found out I was pregnant. Having to let go of that pride has been a challenge and I think that's why I was so scared.

So, I am now prepared to make that change of heart and attitude that I'm happy about being pregnant, and for 2008 for that matter. I want to be happy that Heavenly Father is trusting another little son/daughter into our care. It really is true that you only get to take a few things with you into the eternities. Some of which are your family, and your testimony. I don't want my carnal fears and pride to get in the way of my happiness in the eternal scheme of things.

So there.

Soap Box Talk is done.

Thanks Mindy for giving me that non-intended kick in the rump!

Oh, I find out what the baby is the first week of February! wahoo!