My sister, Mindy, is working on her personal Progress as a Young Women's leader. For one of her projects, she asked us moms to list three important attributes of mothers. I think these could also pass as important attributes as people. Here's what we had to say:
Mom wrote:
1) Trust in God. Knowing who you are in the eternal scheme of things,that you know you are a daughter of God and that He loves you will help youget through anything--lack of sleep, pain, illness, unpleasant experiences, depression, and guilt. It also helps you value your children, becauseyou know who they are too.
2) Courage: it takes courage to stand up for what's right. It takes courage to face the truth. It takes courage to conceive and deliver children. It takes courage to raise them in your home when the worldtells you that a stay-at-home mom is worthless. It takes courage to manage finances, feed hungry children and go without yourself, buy new clothesfor them, and wear the ones you have had for 20 years, do homework or other things with children when you'd rather be doing something you want todo, volunteer at the school when you feel inadequate or overwhelmed,discipline and enforce boundaries when you just want your child to love you andyou know they hate you right then, etc.
3) Love for your husband. If your children know you love theirfather, they have a sense of security that helps them cope with the problemsthey face. If they know they have a secure, loving home that they can goto, a place where they can shut the world out even for a little while, thenyou have given them a gift without comparison. Even if a mother hasconflict with her husband, and they argue, if children know she loves him, andthat he loves her, and that they are committed to each other, and will never leave each other, their life has a stability that they can't get in any other way. A good mom also needs to demonstrate to her children thatshe not only loves their dad, but she needs him! That's one reason whytemple marriage is so important to being a good mother.And in post script, I love Marjorie Hinckley's admonition to adjust toyour husband (I'll add children) rather than trying to change them.
Katy wrote:
1. Patience, Patience, Patience. If I let my emotions get the better of me, 90% of what I say and do is regretted later; and then I wonder why my kids are so emotional! Plus, kids are don't know as much as we do. They can't be expected to know everything without first being taught.
2. Unity with Spouse: For some reason, I know that I'm a better mom because Ryan and I are unified in our long term and important endeavors. I'm never worried about the way I raise my girls because I know Ryan would approve. We both want the same things and have the same goals when it comes to children rearing. Spiritually, physically, and mentally. It also takes a lot off of my shoulders to know I'm not in it by myself.
3. Sense of Humor. Growing up, I knew when my parents were happy and when they were mad. Well, our kids can tell too. A happy Mom has long term benefits. If we are happy, then our kids will feel comfortable with us and won't be scared to talk to us when they get older. If we're always mad or frustrated, our kids won't develop the open relationship they need with their mom. They will be afraid of triggering the anger.
Mele Wrote:
Patience: I've found that patience is one of the key things in becoming a better mother. Audree has not been an easy child to raise, but I've found the more patient I become the better I am able to appreciate her as my daughter and as a daughter of our Heavenly Father. I also enjoy being a mother too and I don't get angry as easily.
Gratitude: If I loose my gratitude in becoming a mother I loose my focus on what is important to me. I begin to want to go back to school, get a job, and just send Audree off to daycare. When I'm thankful for the gift that I have in being a mother it is easier for me to enjoy it and focus on being there for Audree. I can't think of anyone else that I would want to raise Audree except for me. :)
Diligence: I have found that when I am diligent in keeping my covenants to "have joy in my posterity" it is better for me. I'm more on top of things and I do a better job at keeping things organized and in order. I also feel a lot better emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I hope this is what you need. :)
Mindy:
1. Love - It seems like love encompasses everything. If you love your children then you teach them, nurture them, protect them, comfort them, discipline them, are more patient with them, and want the best for them. As Amaryllis say, some times love is an action word and not a feeling, but if you try to love (verb) your children (especially when it's hard,) then love (the feeling) naturally follows. It's no wonder that the greatest commandment that God has given to us is to LOVE.
2. Communication - we NEED to be open in our communication with our children, our husband, and Heavenly Father if we want to be a good mother. When Joe and I communicate - talk about our children and our goals for raising them, then we both feel the same responsibilty for them and work together. This makes things much easier. When we talk about the boy's personalities, talents, etc., we both appreciate them more and it's easier to love them. When I pray for my children, I also find it's easier to love and serve them. Like Mele, It helps me remember why I chose to become a mother and that it's what I really want to be! When I talk to my children, they know I love them and am interested in them. I find out what's important to them, what's going on in their lives and minds, and then I can know better what their needs are.
3. Sacrifice - it seems like I'm constantly giving up something I want for what my children need or want - especially my time. If I forget why I'm doing it, then I get disgruntled, resentful, and dissatisfied (in essence, selfish) - and everyone around me suffers for it. Sacrifice for our children (and I would add Husband) is a good thing. We love best those we serve, and it helps us come closer to Christ because we're following His example.
What are your top 3???
The Kiddos
Cambri, Adelie, Zac
